Bort is a recruitable Rare Character added in the June 2017 - COCCYX Update. Bort can only be recruited during the Can Shooting Practice Event. An Irritating character with max COOL IT stacks must be present and select the option "DON'T HAVE COW MAN!" This will summon Bort through a secret ritual!

Bort resembles Bart Simpson from the long running TV cartoon The Simpsons.

Bort wields a unique Weapon called the Skateboard which resembles a large green skateboard (similar to Bart from The Simpsons). No stats are revealed upon recruitment, but he will always join with 0 Strength, Fitness and Loyalty.

Bort transforms into Just Like Bart upon death. Using a fully charged COOL IT while he is in the party will also cause him to transform.

Encounter Text

Upon Encounter

The secret ritual has been completed!

Bort has been summoned...

Full party

The group is full, but Bort has been summoned. Who gets to leave?

  • The player then has to kick out a character to make room for Bort. There is no option to leave him behind.



Bort vanished back into the Bort dimension, from whence he was summoned.

Special Abilities

Bort has a second form that he transforms into upon death. When this happens his name will also change to 'Just Like Bart'.


  • The Simpsons first debuted December 17, 1989 and is still running to this day.
  • The event that Bort is summoned in is a reference to Episode 6, Season 5 of The Simpsons in which Marge shoots some antique cans with Ruth Powers.
  • Bort's Perk and Trait are 'BORT' and 'SAMSON' respectively. these are cosmetic and grant no abilities.
  • Bort will sometimes say "DON'T HAVE COW MAN" between events. Interestingly, this causes the COOL IT counter to increase every time he says it.
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